‘We Support Families’—But Do You Really? 3 Gut Checks for HR Leaders

Most companies say they support families.

But few actually follow through.

Sure, when you read through a job description or a company’s website, you’ll often see “family-friendly” mentioned — but this has somehow become a default label. But if you asked the working parents on your team how supported they feel, what would they say?

If you’re ready to take a hard look at the culture you’re really creating for the people in your organization, here are three gut checks to help you spot the difference between performative support and action that means something.

Gut Check 1: Are Parents Expected to “Catch Up” After Leave?

If yes, your support is performative. ❌

Parental leave is often treated like a disruption in the “normal” work timeline. And when parents return, there’s often an unspoken (or in some cases, a blatantly spoken) expectation that they need to make up for lost time.

But guess what? That’s not support — that’s a penalty.

Instead, aim for true re-onboarding and reintegration:

• Structured ramp-up plans with adjusted goals. Offering this can help ease the process for new parents and reduce a lot of unneeded stress.

• Conversations about new boundaries, not just schedules

• Team culture that welcomes returning parents — leaving the resentment behind

If your leave policy looks good on paper but leaves parents feeling stressed when they return, it’s time for a shift.

Gut Check 2: Is Flexibility a Privilege or a Practice?

Every company talks about flexibility. But when you take a closer look, who is really putting their money where their mouth is? 

• Is flex time truly available to all roles — or just certain ones?

• Are there unspoken penalties for using it (like fewer promotions, or side-eyes from leadership)? Because it’s been shown that employees who adopt flexible work arrangements (especially women) often face unspoken penalties such as fewer promotions.

• Are frontline or hourly workers considered in your flexibility policies?

Reality check: When flexibility is only granted to a trusted few, it indicates a level of distrust from management.

True flexibility is rooted in trust and equity, not exceptions. And if your policies make some people feel like they have to “earn” the right to care for their families, your message is crystal clear: it’s not really a practice. It’s a perk.

Gut Check 3: Do Your Managers Know How to Lead Working Parents?

You can have the best policies in the world, but if your managers don’t know how to lead with empathy, it won’t matter.

Because a “bad boss” can ruin great policies.

And while most managers aren’t trying to fail, they just haven’t been trained.

Ask yourself:

• Have we provided managers with tools that actually support parents?

• Do they understand how caregiving can result in burnout, and also affect retention and performance? Because employees with empathetic leaders tend to feel valued and supported, which actually improves retention and engagement.

• Are they rewarded for people-centered leadership, or just productivity?

Working parents need leaders who get it — and who lead with clarity, flexibility, and compassion.

Most Leaders Mean Well — But Meaning Doesn’t Translate to Impact

This isn’t about blame, because most HR and people leaders want to support families. But good intentions don’t always lead to good outcomes. And guess what? Families are watching what you do, and not just listening to what you say you’ll do. They’re paying close attention to whether support in the workplace shows up when it matters most.

Let's Take the Next Step Together

Ready to truly support the working parents on your team? Supporting leaders to build strong employee-centric strategies is the foundation of the CARRY™ Consulting process. Book a consultation with CARRY™ Consulting today to walk the walk.