Burned Out Before Baby’s First Birthday: What New Parents Wish You Knew After Parental Leave

If you’re used to seeing parents return from their parental leave, you might (incorrectly) assume that the most vulnerable phase for them is those first few weeks back at work.

It isn’t. It’s actually the entire first year.

Many teams are likely pretty supportive early on, with “welcome back” gatherings and congratulations abound. But for the new parent, the real work (meaning the emotional, physical, and logistical juggling act) is just beginning.

And too often, they’re left to navigate it alone.

Post-Leave Isn’t Post-Challenge

Parental leave may mark the end of one chapter, but it’s nowhere near the finish line. In fact, it’s the start of a high-stakes, high-stress transition.

Returning employees are often dealing with:

• Severe sleep deprivation. (Did you know that new parents lose, on average, 109 minutes of sleep PER NIGHT? And it often lasts well beyond those first few months.)

• Major identity shifts as they reconcile who they were with who they’re becoming. And about 65% of new parents feel intense isolation and feel lonely as a result.

• An invisible mental load filled with feeding schedules, nap tracking, and worry.

Add to that the real-time logistics of pumping at work, pediatrician appointments, and the tearful daycare drop-offs, and you’ve got a recipe for chronic stress.

Real Stories, Real Exhaustion

Behind every polished Zoom square is a parent doing their best to hold it together. Here are real quotes from real new parents:

“I feel like I’m drowning. I’m trying to come up for air, but I feel like I can’t catch my breath.”- Jacksonville Mom

“I was drowning, but I was choosing to drown quietly so that I could keep up appearances.”- New Mom Danielle

“I’m tired and in over my head. At the worst of times, that’s the truth: I am in way over my head.” - New Mom Cassaundra

These real sentiments are from working parents who are smart, capable, high-performing people. They quietly struggled because asking for help felt like a risk. Too often, the emotional burden of pretending everything is fine leads to disengagement, burnout, or walking away entirely.

What They Actually Need

Support isn’t a gift. It should be considered a strategy. And for employers who want to retain talent, here’s where to start:

• Gradual re-onboarding: Ease the transition back with a phased schedule, lighter workloads, and time to ramp up. Thoughtful re-onboarding, which may include a 90-day plan and customized support, helps new parents reintegrate at a manageable pace and feel more confident and valued.

• Manager check-ins: Regular conversations that go beyond deadlines to address how the employee is really doing. In fact, Companies with regular check-ins see a 14.9% lower turnover rate.

• Clear policies: Pumping accommodations, flexible hours, and remote work shouldn't be murky or "figure-it-out-yourself". When these policies are transparent and consistently applied, employees feel more secure and supported, which reduces burnout and turnover.

These aren't perks. They're part of creating a culture where parents can succeed and stay. And that directly affects your bottom line.

Support Isn’t a Phase—It’s a Mindset

Just because someone is back from leave doesn’t mean they’ve stopped needing support. Parenthood isn’t a chapter that ends but rather a new identity that evolves. Failing to meet this moment often leads to attrition, particularly among women, who are disproportionately impacted by caregiving responsibilities. (51% of working mothers with children under 18 reported that being a working parent made it harder for them to advance in their careers.) That loss isn’t just personal, it’s organizational. You lose institutional knowledge, leadership potential, and momentum. And replacing an employee can cost a business between 16% and 213% of that employee’s annual salary, depending on their seniority. Those aren’t numbers to ignore.

Let's Take the Next Step Together

Want to be the company where parents stay? Start with how you support them during that crucial first year. Not just with policies, but with presence, empathy, and a mindset that says: We see you, and we’ve got your back. CARRY™ Consulting helps companies improve their processes to better support the parents on their teams. Book a free consultation with us today to build a culture that works for everyone.